Poker Diary - Day 5

Balance: $10
Ashworths wins: 12
Ashworths losses: 3
Ashworths folds: 5

Two wins, two losses, irritating that my AK suited is taken down by 77 after my AA was beat by 56. I’ve had AA cracked twice. That’s just damn unlucky. Tilting, I enter two $20 tournaments, I’m annoyed, I shouldn’t do this, it’s a very bad idea, as it’s all of my bankroll on two tournaments, and I’m still going to be annoyed if I only win one. There is a moment of fear as I try and bluff with AT, it is called, a King rolls out, I raise all in and am called. The guy has A9 and is going for the flush draw, which miraculously, he does not hit. The moment of fear is replaced by cheering and whoops of relief: I should have been knocked out by rights.
The Poker Gods right the wrong by knocking me out 6th with AJ against KT, A5T flop, K river.
I melt back into my book, and play some less insane tables, register for the Edinburgh qualifier qualifier (to qualify for the actual qualifier, which usually costs £108 and my qualifier to play in the £108 costs £5) and play a couple of $10 games, with a fresh grin as the Ashworths earn me another set of blinds.
All is lost, I played too big, and now it’s gone.

I throw another £16 onto it, hoping not to tilt and resolving not to play in the $20 games, the % of my total bankroll is too high. My Dad pisses me off more by saying, in a petulant tone “aw you swore, you’re a swearer” after I claim that an A8 hitting a straight against my JK is “fucking bullshit”. There’s always Edinburgh.
Nope, after 2 hours, I am knocked out of Edinburgh qualifiers with QKsuited and the flop as QQA, with the chipleader to roll over AA upon calling my all-in. C’est la vie. I resume normal tournaments, $5. I do not do well. My final $10 goes into a tournament where I am finally rewarded with AA and it is cracked by 99. 3/4 Aces have been cracked today. I am sickened.
I add more money. This is not a good day. On the bright side, I have finally got my USB Poker chip in the mail, it’s very pretty, well worth my investment of nearly a hundred pounds. I don’t see poker as a worthwhile investment, I see it as a challenge now, the bad luck taunts me, and I hug the tilt lovingly.

My 99 is beat my 76 preflop. I am out.
I haven’t had a win in a while, I don’t mind, I just feel really unlucky, like nothing can win. Anytime I am called with an all-in, I minimise the window. I can’t watch more unluckiness unfold. I win whilst sat out, best way really.
Another bad out makes me angry, two pair, he calls, hits two hearts giving him a flush. Dis-fucking-graceful. More and more. I can’t win fuck all and I’m getting sick of it. I have $5 left. I am not happy one bit. The cards hate me today.

I enter one last tournament. A final $5 tournament – this is the last of my money, I have gone through my $50 balance and another £30 today. It’s not like I’ve been playing that badly, just have been getting incredibly bad beats. If I lose now I will stop for a week or two. Go back to Battlefield and put on hiatus my dreams of paying off my overdraft or as a very wise person suggested; actually do something useful such as write my book.

Finally I win where I should have – my JJ beats a TT (ten ten), putting me comfortably into the lead, I have $10, and will finish tonight on it. Tomorrow I will try to survive.